A DESCRIPTION OF THE WORKSHOP BY THE WORKSHOP PRESENTER, SOPHIE SLADE.
“Getting the Love You Want”
When people are considering attending the “Getting the Love You Want” workshop for couples questions come up such as what happens at the workshop, how is it structured, what do the two days look like? Whilst Patrice van de Walle and Wendy Towers are are available to respond and reassure, I thought it might be helpful to write a fuller description of the workshop, from my personal perspective as the workshop presenter, and that will answer some of the frequent questions. However, before starting I would like to say that it is really hard to capture in words how amazing and transformative the workshop is for so many couples. It is one of those situations where it is hard to get a sense of what the experience will be like until you actually do it.
The workshops usually consist of between 10 and 25 couples present. The range of relationship is broad, from those just engaged to those already separated and everything in between including couples of all ages and orientation and sometimes just good friends or a mother and daughter. I start the workshop by inviting each person to introduce themselves very briefly by first name, their intentions in being there and something they appreciate about their partner. This is one of the few times when people are asked to speak in the group but it helps to get us all there. There are other times when people can, if they choose, share their experience of doing a particular dialogue exercise or ask questions. No-one will be put on the spot.
The core skill that you will learn is the Imago Intentional Dialogue, which is a way of communicating and being in relationship that leads to increased safety, mutual empathic understanding and connection. You will also learn some variations on the dialogue to help you explore and share specific areas, such as the childhood origins of what is going on in your relationship now (childhood is where we first learn about relationships, how to get our needs met and how to cope when we don’t so they can unconsciously have an important influence on our current ways of being in relationship), how to work through your frustrations, how to amplify the romance and positive energy in your relationship and to create a shared vision of the relationship you are working towards building.
All the personal work is done between partners, with the support of therapists who are trained in Imago Relationship Therapy, and myself. If you would prefer not to have this additional help you can just let us know. You will have a very detailed manual to follow, and take away with you, that guides you through each of the dialogues. The manual also includes some written exercises for you to work through and that will help you get a clear picture of the underlying dynamics of your relationship. This will help you make sense of your relationship and why, even though it may feel like it sometimes, your relationship is not a mistake or an accident. It will help you see why the conflict, and often repetitive, reactive patterns you may experience, are actually an opportunity for growth.
On this workshop you will learn about the tools that can help you navigate your way through these reactive patterns to a more conscious, mature respectful, deeply connected and intimate relationship. You will also learn how to use these tools.
I also share some important ideas about the 3 stages of relationship based on the latest research of what works and what doesn’t and the role that the brain plays. I try to keep the “lectures” short, informative, entertaining and to the point. My husband, David, (who is very much “not” a therapist) when he is able to be there shares his experience and anecdotes of our relationship to illustrate particular points or dialogues, and to bring in some additional humor.
Perhaps most importantly I work to create an environment of safety within which each person can risk growing beyond their old ways of being in relationship and connect with their partner. You will not be pressured to do anything that feels too much of a stretch for you.
I should stress that although you may find this w/shop therapeutic it is not “therapy” as such. It is about understanding, learning and practicing new, valuable, effective ways of relating.
The workshop starts at 9 a.m. each day and finishes at 7 p.m. on Saturday and 6 p.m. on Sunday. There will be a lunch break each day around 12.30 or 1 p.m. for about an hour and a quarter. There will also be coffee and tea breaks mid-morning and mid afternoon, when biscuits will be served.
I recommend keeping your weekend, especially Saturday evening, as free as possible from other distractions and responsibilities so that you can focus more fully on your relationship.
If you have any other questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact:
Patrice van de Walle at [email protected] or 0474 09 30 50
Wendy Towers at wentowers@mac.com or 0488 40 43 59
Sophie Slade at [email protected]